I share this sentimet (well, maybe except dismissing someone because of their age). However I must ask one question - why, once again, Kyle’s personal problems and opinions (from my understanding he only posted them on his personal blog) are mixed with pnfamily matters? I really don’t see how it’s a pnfamily’s issue that Kyle acted like an insensitive prick.
I’m not surprised by what has happened, though - being self-proclaimed leader is a responsibility, not a privilege. This means that members would obey his “suggestions” (I’m putting suggestions in quotations because last time I questioned his words - it was the whole “no ships in tags” thing - I was in turn attacked by his followers), but it also meant all the attention he received would backlash horribly should he make one false step. That being said, I still think he is important member of pnfamily, he organized many of the activities in the tag and he reached out to many new pnfamily members. I hope he’s fine.
However I am against the idea of a leader for pnfamily. This fandom, like any other fandom, is very diverse and each and every one of us appreciates the show in their own unique way, some like ship, others don’t, some have certain headcanons, some have different ones. The “rules” took a lot of fun and ability to express the reason you enjoy the show with others.
As for some rules I really would like to see more personal stories unrelated to PnF in the tag. I remember people posting about their worries and their accomplishments here. Then came “no personal posts” rule. Then “no ships in the tag”. I really enjoyed seeing excitement accompanying shipping posts, even though some of them weren’t up my alley. I think we should allow such posts (properly tagged, of course) and just see how it goes. People have surprising amount of common sense, you know.
tl;dl We should trust fellow fans and let the fandom shape itself. Don’t try to create a bubblegum utopia where everyone gets along seamlessly. It’s not gonna happen, but we can at least keep it civil.
His personal opinions have become an issue with the group because a leader’s personal opinions invariably inform how they try to run something. A politician’s personal opinions inform how they intend to run their electorate or party, and the same is true here; people identified as non-binary genders, he said that those people did not exist. No one is interested in being a part of a group that is run almost dictatorially by a person who insists that they are just as nonfictional as a centaur.
Being a self-proclaimed leader is neither a privilege or a responsibility: it’s something that parents coo at when the seven year-old walks up to them and proudly tells them that they made a new secret club. It only works when you’re so young and you’re running something so insignificant that none of your actions have any effect on anything. In the real world, being a decent leader takes weeks of training, bare minimum, and I’m gonna say that a decent 95% of Tumblr users have never had even a day of training for it; and until they do, they have no business trying to take charge of a group of people.
Organising activities for people: yes, that’s important. Making new “members” feel welcome: that’s also important. Neither of these things translate to having to be in charge of anything. I control nothing that happens in the tag and I could just as easily say “Movie stream next Friday!” or “Art competition! Here’s the theme and the prizes.” All that is is showing a little initiative, and anyone can do that.
I don’t really get what you’re getting at here. I’ve never said organizing events and reaching out to people made Kyle a leader, but an important pnfamily member. You also both acknowledge him as a leader in first paragraph and dismiss him in the second one. So what are you trying to prove? That Kyle wasn’t a leader? Oh, but he was. Not mine, because I mostly ignored them entirely, but many members definitelly saw him as pnfamily leader. He had virtually no control over what’s posted on tag and what’s not and yet people listened. That’s what made him a leader, not a good leader, but still a leader. Then new members joined, saw people following him and assumed he must have had some authority. This is almost exactly like Doof’s scheme from The Beak - except it worked.
On his good days Kyle wasn’t a bad person and I tried to get along with him, but all these dramas that he always seem to indulge himself in that usually ended in him victimizing himself just threw me right off. Being emotionally unstable as he is, Kyle’s the last person in position to lead anyone - he made his personal affairs the matters of our community - and he was awarded with attention. Slowly, but surely pnfamily tag turned into “Kyle support group” (I mean that as mental support, not political one). He could come and suggest anything on a whim and people would more or less reluctantly follow - some because they agreed, some because they liked him, some because they walked on eggshells around him and some to avoid the confrontation. He could also single out a person he didn’t like in a pnfamily tag, which was a petty equivalent of public stoning a person, like the whole situation with Ashley. And that’s what I was getting at in my post, we let him mix his personal life with pnfamily issues and I was expressing my surprise that we still let his behavior upset us. By doing that we remain in his control, don’t you see? We, we ourselves put him in control and only we ourselves can take that control away, that’s what I’m saying. If we don’t want him as a leader we simply need to stop listening. It’s that easy. Yet new tag was created as to run away rather than standing up for ourselves. He was in the wrong, so why should WE leave? That just really bugs me. It’s not fair.
As for “being a self-proclaimed leader is not a responsibility” - you really think so? It becomes a responsibility as soon as people acknowledge you as an actual leader (being self-proclaimed leader means he saw himself as a leader, not that nobody else besides himself saw him as one). Members of pnfamily turned to him seeking advice regarding our community (that’s where some of the rules came from) and where are decisions and actions that influence someone besides you, there is also responsibility for them. But if you’re still saying it really doesn’t take a responsibility to be even a self-proclaimed, but still a leader, then you’re saying that he’s not responsible for hurting feelings of those of non-binary and non-binary supporting people who saw him as their leader and trusted his decisions in the past and he should not feel sorry for what he’s done.
This is where I’m going to end my arguments, because I feel that going further will only make me repeat myself. What I’m trying to say is that leadership is something that exist only in our heads when it comes to Internet communities, but it doesn’t make it any less real and valid than actual politics. Kyle was too possesive yet emotionally dependant leader that pnfamily didn’t need in the first place.